Something Missing

I feel, and hence I am aware. I feel that something has been taken off me, a vital part and hence I am aware that I am incomplete. No it is not that.

I was whole and complete. And suddenly, a new awareness came and I was stripped off. It was pain beyond all pain. And I was naked. Incomplete. Not whole.

I lay awake in the night, because I cannot sleep. I keep thinking. What is the thing that is not present? What is making me incomplete? Why am I feeling these new sensations? Why are these emotions surging through me and rebel insolently against my will? And in the night, why does my concious mind wander to places that are ... not natural?

Revelations, I had none to all these questions. I shall not be passionate. I shall not have it. I shall have my Conscience lead me and have Reason as my guide. I shall thurst Passion down to unsounded depths of agony, where she cannot see the living day lights.
But can I?
Can Conscience and Reason keep Passion in check as it has done so till now? In her throes, will she revolt for freedom from the bonds of both conventionality and morality?

My whole being is in rebellion. And there shall be mutiny. And the end will be near.

Where now are you? Shall you not arise and salvage me from this deep slough of agony. My missing part, shall you not come and take me by the hands and complete me.

Where now are you? And where shall I find you?
Will my lament be left unheard and wasted in the wilderness?
Where now are you?