Showing posts with label the fall. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the fall. Show all posts

Thursday, August 27, 2009

L'horreur

Do not ask to which dark god did I prayed to, but I prayed. I prayed hard to give me strength, strength enough to survive. Those days, I remember, the horror, the doubts, the dread of those ghastly experiences; there were times when I wish I could die, rather then continue to face the trauma , the agony, the anguish I felt then. Each living day was was a struggle to continue, each night was a series of horrendous nightmares, each hour was an effort to live, each breath was the dawn of new nightmares.

It was at those times that I prayed, after losing all hope, given up all faith, that I turned to the dark to reach out for even a small escape from the world that I was.

During that reign of terror, hell could not be any worse: we prayed to give us deliverance to hell. It was the time, when my faith was severely tested and all hopes crumbled. It was the time when I underwent through the trial of iron and fire, and came out with a battered spirit and a burnt soul. And then I fell. Into darkness.

I still carry the scars, and each time I try to look back, the pain would spring anew, would break my spirit and dissolved me into a screaming mass of hysterics.

It seems, sometimes, time, the great healer, can even fail in her craft.