Have you ever felt like....

Have you ever felt like something is wrong but you can't quite put your finger on it?
I do. All the time. Some people say it is called masculinity.

Since morning, I have this nagging feeling that something is quite wrong. I set out for the usual classes and lessons but I didn't feel like absorbing any new lessons. So I went for shopping instead. I didn't got all the thing mentioned in the last post but yes, I did managed to get most. I wish I could get all, especially the item no. 11 or 12. I don't mind which one, or if I can bargain, I want both.

Well, I have been thinking. I have always told myself ( and many others ) that I have learned now to not need anyone . But I have been debating myself whether it is really true. I thought about it. Two things I came up with. Yes, I think I have really learned that lesson well. But am I happy? To that question, I don't have a direct answer: I am not unhappy. Does that answer the question? No, it avoids the question altogether; somewhat cleverly.

Maybe I have been lying to myself. Maybe I am trying so hard to convince myself my saying it aloud again and again. Maybe, just maybe, I am a shadow of myself; pretending to be myself; a doppleganger; a pale imitation of what I once was, but no longer is.

Do I need a journey of self discovery? Where are the mountains and the valleys; where is the mountain top that has all the answer?
The Road ever goes on and on...