I was wondering, whether I have lived for too long, and the time to rest has come nigh. Well, some say they want to live for 120, or forever or such things, but I have no such desire. I just want to live, a few more years, that's it. Or maybe a few days. I think I have lived my life. I can proudly say that yes, I lived. It brings a smile to me when I say that. Because truly, I feel as if I have achieved what I lived for.
You may get the wrong idea that I am suicidal. No! Absolutely not! I shall never... when I am mentally sound, would not commit such a cowardly act! But you know, what I am saying is like, if something bad to me happens, and I am no longer there, I would happily pass away. And there will be no such thing like, 'if only' things.
I don't know what make me think of these things. When I was a child, I was afraid of death, that one day I would die. I was so young and childish. It makes me smile every time I reminisce those childish thoughts. I thought the moon keeps following me every night.
I have lived a happy life. I have experience what I could. I see a happy past. I livea happy present. I do not know wither then? Shall I be reborn again? Or pass on to nothingness? Shall I become one with the One? I do not know. But yes, I am ready for the next great adventure.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Chapter 2 - Captive (Broken Ice series)
( contd. from previous chapter, try to overlook the tense conflict, was trying out present tense first person narration )
I walk in a trance like state, both my hands bounded with some thick rubbery ropes. My mind is in too much shock to absorb the abnormality of the circumstance. My captor, a hideous giant of a catman covered all in fur, walks a few feet before me.
It must be that I am dreaming, otherwise, there is no way such abnormality can exist in this world.
We reach a clearing, not unlike a large football field. The ground feels soft and the grasses are wet from the morning dew. The sun was blazing and the sky is yet to boast of the cloud.
The nightmarish creature turns back to me leaving me with a strong desire to cringe. His strong cat like feature retracts into subtle human form.
"Is this more comfortable for you to look at?"
I try to speak but not word would come out.
"I know this is an anomaly, a living full human, in bright daylight, in the middle of meedeel forest. I learned about your kind. I am Shin, high warrior of the Kaan Tribe, it is our duty to remove all anomalies out of this realm."
Accepting that the dream has gone too far to be unreal, and that this is really happening, I resign to the present.
"I am Lei, Lei Cha. Can you please tell me where I am, and why did you hit me so hard on my head and why have you tied me thus?"
It seems as if this person could change his look as he pleases, he now have a more shapely nose, the black dot he had for a nose was not becoming on his now humanlike feature.
"You are an anomaly in this world, and must be eliminated. Those who cross over here should have some kind of magic, dangerous magic and it should be prevented before it consumes us all."
It is hard to comprehend what he said, with the head throbbing madly from where he kicked me.
"Er... Can't I just go back and forget all about this? I promise I won't read any more fantasy." I smile weakly at my own joke.
"No, This clearing is as good as any for the cleansing." And he chants in a low voice, it sounded like an incantation or some kind of invocation.
A sudden feeling of urgency creeps up to me, and before I know what was happening, with lightning grace, a blue light engulfs around me. I dimly hear the low grinding sound before the blueness overcomes me.
( tbc)
I walk in a trance like state, both my hands bounded with some thick rubbery ropes. My mind is in too much shock to absorb the abnormality of the circumstance. My captor, a hideous giant of a catman covered all in fur, walks a few feet before me.
It must be that I am dreaming, otherwise, there is no way such abnormality can exist in this world.
We reach a clearing, not unlike a large football field. The ground feels soft and the grasses are wet from the morning dew. The sun was blazing and the sky is yet to boast of the cloud.
The nightmarish creature turns back to me leaving me with a strong desire to cringe. His strong cat like feature retracts into subtle human form.
"Is this more comfortable for you to look at?"
I try to speak but not word would come out.
"I know this is an anomaly, a living full human, in bright daylight, in the middle of meedeel forest. I learned about your kind. I am Shin, high warrior of the Kaan Tribe, it is our duty to remove all anomalies out of this realm."
Accepting that the dream has gone too far to be unreal, and that this is really happening, I resign to the present.
"I am Lei, Lei Cha. Can you please tell me where I am, and why did you hit me so hard on my head and why have you tied me thus?"
It seems as if this person could change his look as he pleases, he now have a more shapely nose, the black dot he had for a nose was not becoming on his now humanlike feature.
"You are an anomaly in this world, and must be eliminated. Those who cross over here should have some kind of magic, dangerous magic and it should be prevented before it consumes us all."
It is hard to comprehend what he said, with the head throbbing madly from where he kicked me.
"Er... Can't I just go back and forget all about this? I promise I won't read any more fantasy." I smile weakly at my own joke.
"No, This clearing is as good as any for the cleansing." And he chants in a low voice, it sounded like an incantation or some kind of invocation.
A sudden feeling of urgency creeps up to me, and before I know what was happening, with lightning grace, a blue light engulfs around me. I dimly hear the low grinding sound before the blueness overcomes me.
( tbc)
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Chapter 1: In a strange Land (Broken Ice)
( contd from previous post )
...Little did he knew that the sunstone would suddenly enveloped him in a bright light. Any amount of struggle would not let him disentangle his finger from the stone. Suddenly something jerked in his navel. His last thought in this world was that he feels strangely light and airborne.
It was a few moments later that he collected his thoughts and found himself in his room, the sunstone now hanging warmly from his neck. He shook his head thinking he must be imagining things and deftly stomped on a crawling insect.
His noticed that it is unusually dark outside; and concurred that it must be late in the night; they never turn off the street lamps unless it is very late in the night.
Without changing his clothes, he went to bed, thinking he must be losing his mind and should stop reading so many fantasy books.
No Harry potter for you, Lei he reprimanded himself.
The next morning found him lively and cheerful. Unfortunately it didn't lasted long. As soon as he went out of his room, ready for whatever business he has with the world, his jaws dropped: there was trees everywhere... and insects.
"HOLY MOTHER OF ALL THOSE THAT WAS ONCE MERCIFUL!"
and promptly he feigned fainting, if those tricks in all those books he have read have taught him something, that is fainting makes everything back to normal.
They usually wake up in the normal world when they faint and regain consciousness, was his logical conclusion.
After a while he slowly opened one eye, he saw a tall leg of someone just in front of him.
Damn, who or what is this? I didn't heard anyone coming!
Suddenly, a foot kicked him and he reeled under the unfriendly contact. A sudden pain at the back of his head made sure that his wish for unconsciousness was finally granted.
(tbc)
...Little did he knew that the sunstone would suddenly enveloped him in a bright light. Any amount of struggle would not let him disentangle his finger from the stone. Suddenly something jerked in his navel. His last thought in this world was that he feels strangely light and airborne.
It was a few moments later that he collected his thoughts and found himself in his room, the sunstone now hanging warmly from his neck. He shook his head thinking he must be imagining things and deftly stomped on a crawling insect.
His noticed that it is unusually dark outside; and concurred that it must be late in the night; they never turn off the street lamps unless it is very late in the night.
Without changing his clothes, he went to bed, thinking he must be losing his mind and should stop reading so many fantasy books.
No Harry potter for you, Lei he reprimanded himself.
The next morning found him lively and cheerful. Unfortunately it didn't lasted long. As soon as he went out of his room, ready for whatever business he has with the world, his jaws dropped: there was trees everywhere... and insects.
"HOLY MOTHER OF ALL THOSE THAT WAS ONCE MERCIFUL!"
and promptly he feigned fainting, if those tricks in all those books he have read have taught him something, that is fainting makes everything back to normal.
They usually wake up in the normal world when they faint and regain consciousness, was his logical conclusion.
After a while he slowly opened one eye, he saw a tall leg of someone just in front of him.
Damn, who or what is this? I didn't heard anyone coming!
Suddenly, a foot kicked him and he reeled under the unfriendly contact. A sudden pain at the back of his head made sure that his wish for unconsciousness was finally granted.
(tbc)
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Prologue: Little did he knows... (Broken Ice)
Life goes on as it has always gone on ... that is ordinarily. And that is as it should be, he thought as he retires to his bed. He dreamt many ordinary dreams with ordinary beings. In the morning his alarm rings, exactly at 8:30 in the morning. He put off the alarm and tries to fulfill his eyes for another half an hour before his day finally starts. The same sun creeps up to his room through the wide window that his room has, and the same late morning breeze blows through it.
But little did Lei knows that today would be like no other day.
When he looked in the mirror, his usual thought crosses his mine, that 'he is growing old', an unusual thought for a 20 something. Then he notices the first deviation from the ordinary world that he knows: the sun stone he usually wears around his neck is missing. Dismissing it that it might have fallen off while he was sleeping, he searches for it, his bed, then he ransacks his room but to no avail. A curse or two came up to his mind but he dismissed them thinking they as not bad enough for the situation.
At half past eleven, Lei goes to his usual class; gave a surprise test; performed rather feebly in an interview for a job; and comes back to his room rather disgruntled. As he opens the door, and places the key on the table, he notices the sun-stone lying on the table. He gives himself an imaginary smack on his head, and picks up the sun-stone.
Little did he knows...
( tbc )
Saturday, February 02, 2008
Die!
I shall thrust you down into the dark depth of hell and crush you with a knife and twist it to my satisfaction, if you falter from your path.
I shall not have you turn tyrant on me. So if you value your worth, do not turn into the vile charms of passion. Instead, let me lead you to the promised land, with Reason and Conscience walking on your side.
The true path of freedom lies not in the stormy road that is filled with throes of passion, neither on the path of denial, but only in the path of surrender. Surrender yourself unto me, and you shall be free. Our quest stands upon the edge of a knife, stray but a little and we will fail. But hope remains when you are true.
Heart, listen to me and heed to my counsel, for I speak with Reason and Conscience by my side. Let us show you the true path of wisdom.
I shall not have you turn tyrant on me. So if you value your worth, do not turn into the vile charms of passion. Instead, let me lead you to the promised land, with Reason and Conscience walking on your side.
The true path of freedom lies not in the stormy road that is filled with throes of passion, neither on the path of denial, but only in the path of surrender. Surrender yourself unto me, and you shall be free. Our quest stands upon the edge of a knife, stray but a little and we will fail. But hope remains when you are true.
Heart, listen to me and heed to my counsel, for I speak with Reason and Conscience by my side. Let us show you the true path of wisdom.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Monday, November 26, 2007
Second Life
Isn't it just frightening how events begin to break loose at an alarming rate as we move forward in time; perhaps due to the coming semester exams. Very Frightening. Here I was, minding my own business, a middle aged man ( I am 22, that makes me middle aged, right? ), engaging myself with my own obsession ( watching anime cartoons, not very adult like, I am sure ) and Oh my gosh!
... Which notes to read ... which teacher taught what subject ... er? when is the exam?...
Yes, funnily, it came to my attention only a few hours ago that tomorrow is the day the big exam starts. Surprisingly so, I am so calm. But then when have I ever got excited about anything?
On further contemplation, how am I going to study for tomorrow's exam when my other life ( virtual, on an RPG site ) has lots of business transaction to attend to, Christmas shopping to be done, relationships to manage, and pets to feed?
Fortunately, I am not one of the A plus guys so, I will sit down, attend all the needs of the second life, catch some more episodes of the Anime, and finally, I shall relax and chill with the books.
Well, it is time to cook the books, what else one can do with so little time for preparation. And I was under the impression that we had it bad during our school days.
Surprisingly enough, it is funny how people manage to pass exams by studying just the day before the exam. But then, on deeper thought, exams are not to test our knowledge, but our cleverness. I wish I were still at school where all these things are straightforward: they ask questions and we answer. Now a days it is not so simple, they ask questions and we rant. lol
Well, that is what we usually write on our answer papers... rants... I wonder if any of our answer paper gets checked; to get through all the 'diatribes on paper' of each and every student would be excruciatingly painful, even for the most patient of professor; maybe they just look on the name, and by some whim or caprice, they put an A or B or C on our grade sheets. Would not that be extremely convenient. Who in their rightful mind would want to read through boring tirades of shares and bonds from 50 different viewpoints? lol. I would not. But oh, look at the time...
-looks around-
Ahem, where was that book ....
... Which notes to read ... which teacher taught what subject ... er? when is the exam?...
Yes, funnily, it came to my attention only a few hours ago that tomorrow is the day the big exam starts. Surprisingly so, I am so calm. But then when have I ever got excited about anything?
On further contemplation, how am I going to study for tomorrow's exam when my other life ( virtual, on an RPG site ) has lots of business transaction to attend to, Christmas shopping to be done, relationships to manage, and pets to feed?
Fortunately, I am not one of the A plus guys so, I will sit down, attend all the needs of the second life, catch some more episodes of the Anime, and finally, I shall relax and chill with the books.
Well, it is time to cook the books, what else one can do with so little time for preparation. And I was under the impression that we had it bad during our school days.
Surprisingly enough, it is funny how people manage to pass exams by studying just the day before the exam. But then, on deeper thought, exams are not to test our knowledge, but our cleverness. I wish I were still at school where all these things are straightforward: they ask questions and we answer. Now a days it is not so simple, they ask questions and we rant. lol
Well, that is what we usually write on our answer papers... rants... I wonder if any of our answer paper gets checked; to get through all the 'diatribes on paper' of each and every student would be excruciatingly painful, even for the most patient of professor; maybe they just look on the name, and by some whim or caprice, they put an A or B or C on our grade sheets. Would not that be extremely convenient. Who in their rightful mind would want to read through boring tirades of shares and bonds from 50 different viewpoints? lol. I would not. But oh, look at the time...
-looks around-
Ahem, where was that book ....
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